My Journey
The diagnosis of DID was in response to extreme trauma that I experienced as a young child, and my brain fragmented into parts in order to protect me and help me to survive. There is no reason to have shame about how symptoms come to be. It was not until a triggering event that I experienced in 2016 where everything that I had once known shattered before me. The truth behind what happened to me as a young girl was showing up in flashbacks, body memories, and severe depression. I completely decompensated and was unable to take care of myself. The high-functioning person and professional that people knew and respected fell apart and I was now the one needing help. I had no problem engaging in therapy, but now it was time for a hospital-level of care and I was shaken to my core. I was so depressed, unable to care for myself, and suicidal ideation had become persistent. I was terrified, I didn’t know what was happening to me. Different alters/parts of me formerly known as “personalities” were each holding onto pieces of the puzzle that was the reality of my childhood and every part of me needed to be tended to with grace, self-compassion, and an entire wellness team that I sought out for help.
Although it has taken me several years, several healing practitioners and approaches, and countless hours of therapy, I am grateful to be alive.
I have come to appreciate DID as a life-saving gift. Healing from trauma is possible, and I am living proof of that. I have been fiercely devoted to my recovery and have assisted thousands of people and groups on their paths to healing, even before coming forward with my own story. Now I am serving in ways I never thought possible, all thanks to the power of vulnerability (thank you Brené Brown for your research on shame and vulnerability).
Having worked in the field for close to two decades, I am now passionate about reaching a wider audience of people, both those who live with mental health challenges, and those surrounding them. We both, the public and providers, must aim to do a better job at supporting, understanding, and including those in our communities that feel alone, ostracized, and feared. I am a soul-fueled advocate for mental health with aspirations to change how we all view mental health-related conditions.
No matter where you have been or what condition you may have, please know that you are not a diagnosis:
you are a human being who has experienced life and may be dealing with pain from the past or the present.
Please know that it is possible to work through whatever it is that is weighing you down and preventing you from living your best life. We all can improve our quality of life, but it takes commitment, courage, and devotion to one’s self. Recovery, I always say, is a journey, not a destination. My life was once very overwhelming and confusing. With the support of my husband, wellness team, colleagues, and friends, I have been able to create a life that is calm and peaceful. I want you to know that I have hope that your life can improve and that you can feel better. If you are struggling to find hope, please borrow some of mine, because I would not have been a practitioner all these years, and I would not be stepping into the world with my story if I didn’t believe that people could heal.
Experiencing trauma does not define you. At your core is your true essence and I hope you find your way back to the loving spark of light within you.